HALLOWEEN POLITICS: Disguises, Tricks, and Glitches create an ObamaScare

RANCHO SANTA FE, Ca., October 28, 2013 – BREAKING NEWS: Democrats and Republicans, whose political tactics are frighteningly similar, have secretly merged into a single entity. The new political group will be called the Halloween Party.

The fledgling Party is a political Frankenstein. Strategists have long recognized the importance of combining the two organizations while maintaining the charade of their separate existence. With a shared addiction to money and power, why compete for half the dollars and votes when you can get them all? You just have to pretend that you’re not who you appear to be … but that’s what Halloween is all about.

The Party is smart. It will still adorn its members in different “costumes.” Half of its troops will don variations of its Statute of Liberty line (“Liberty” for short), while the others will be cloaked in the Party’s Patriot series.

The Liberty theme is inspired by the inscription “Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free.” This clever design suggests that those wearing the disguise actually care about the tired, the poor, and the huddled masses among which they include minorities and helpless women. It also creates the appearance of a deep rooted concern for the exercise of freedoms such as speech.

Similarly, the Patriot series swaths members in the Constitution and a flag that says Don’t Tread on Me. The pattern suggests that those who favor it are champions of small government, fiscal responsibility, freedom of religion, Defense, elimination of our dependence on foreign oil, and the shutting down of regulatory agencies such as the EPA.

Both costume sets are designed to allow Party members to masquerade as something they’re not. After all, that’s what Halloween is about… dressing up as something or someone that is entirely out of character with your own persona. If the Party wasn’t orchestrating these outfits, almost every elected official would choose to wear a lab coat and an Einstein mask.

Those who don the Liberty line have no real allegiance to the poor, minorities, or women. If they did, they would have done something to help those people over the years. After all, the Democratic Party has held dominant control over Washington, D.C., for years.

Since the New Deal (1933), Democrats have held the Presidency 56% of the time and enjoyed “one-party rule” of the Legislative Branch 76% of the time (controlling both the House and Senate). They’ve even held a majority in both Chambers 61% of the time that a Republican served as President. That’s about as unobstructed as the Government gets.

You would think that the words “poor” and “minority” would no longer be politically relevant and that women would have gained self-sufficiency by now. Instead, the gap between the poor and the rich has reached epic proportions in recent years and continued to grow over the last five years.

Minorities in particular have been crushed during that time frame. Median net worth and net income levels have deteriorated far more for minorities than they have for non-minorities, and unemployment has followed a similar pattern.

We’re also told that women, who are otherwise portrayed as strong and independent, apparently need Government assistance to survive. If birth control isn’t offered for free, it’s tantamount to waging a war on them. While the women of Afghanistan may view such hardship differently, it points to the effectiveness of the Liberty costume.

The appearance of support for “free speech” is particularly well done. The burning of flags and bibles is protected. Just don’t apply those same rules to the Quran.

Any verbal expression of speech is also defended unless it is at odds with the platform of the Democratic Party. Then, the debate will be shut down with the incredibly overused argument of “false equivalence” (i.e., our position may be ludicrous, but the other side’s position is so heinous we shouldn’t be held accountable for ours) and words such as “racist,” “homophobe,” and “misogynist.” The Republicans would easily be able to counter with the word “hypocrite” if it wasn’t so readily applicable to them as well.

Not to be outdone, the Patriot disguise is equally cunning.

Hiding behind the camouflage of the Constitution (a document that many apparently either have not read or do not understand), those who wear the Patriot costume project the image previously described (i.e., advocating smaller government, fiscal responsibility, etc.).

However, neither the Government nor the budget has contracted under Republican leadership. While it is true that the Republican Party has been “outgunned” by the Democratic Party (no Second Amendment pun intended) with regard to Presidents (45-36) and “one-party ruled” Legislative sessions (54-14), it has routinely contributed to the growth of Government and Federal spending when it has been in power. It simply has done both in favor of its voting blocks and sources of monetary support.

While those who conceal themselves behind this mask will derisively declare how President Obama has exceeded the entire debt amassed by all the Administrations that preceded his, you will never hear them admit that the precedent was actually set by the Bush Administration, which achieved the same dubious distinction. Regardless of which Party has been in power, the game has remained the same: use the power to repay political debts. That’s why operating behind the scenes as a single Party makes so much sense.

Evangelical Republicans particularly enjoy parading around in the Patriot outfit. They are fond of chanting the mantra that we are “One Nation under God” while ignoring the fact that the First Amendment requires our Government to remain agnostic to protect one’s free exercise of religion. Instead, they prefer to emphasize our country’s Christian origin. Perhaps the confusion comes from knowing which of the 30,000+ variations of Christianity that are practiced in the United States is the one we should follow.

Then, there is the issue of Defense. When was the last time you heard anyone in the Republican Party compliment the Carter Administration for establishing many of the Defense programs that led to the technological superiority that currently distinguishes our Nation’s military?

Correspondingly, that same Administration founded the Department of Energy with the express purpose of eliminating our Nation’s dependence on foreign oil. While the DOE has been an abject failure, the concept sounds very Republican.

Similarly, you’ve undoubtedly heard the Republican Party castigate the Environmental Protection Agency for its “leftist” agenda. Keep in mind the EPA was formed under the direction of the Nixon Administration.

Are you beginning to see why the Halloween Party makes so much sense? Operating only one Party is far more efficient. They only need the illusion of a political divide to keep the money flowing.

Think about it.

If they didn’t have each other to blame and they didn’t have the ability to shape “trick” messages so you’d feel a sense of urgency to “treat” them with a donation rather than risk allowing the other Party to “win,” there would be no reason to donate anything to them … ever.

The whole model of buying your vote with your money would be ruined. If your donations went away, the Parties would no longer be able to afford the attack ad campaigns they use to convince you to vote for the candidates and issues they pick for you. In a sense, you would be left to independently compare their solutions and candidates to the other choices you may have and to reach decisions that are in your best interests rather than those of the Parties.

In that regard, the tradition of walking the precincts and shouting “trick or treat” will be replaced with an endless stream of e-mails, robocalls, and negative advertising to maintain control over you.

The Halloween Party will even attack its own programs to hide the fact that only one Party actually exists. Take the Affordable Care Act as an example … code name: ObamaScare.

For more than three years, Republicans tried to repeal or defund ObamaScare. They claimed it was fatally flawed and would lead to the collapse of our healthcare system and economy.

During that same period, Democrats argued that ObamaScare was “the greatest thing since sliced bread” and would revolutionize healthcare (including its cost).

Once the Halloween Party was formed, it quickly realized that there were merits to both arguments, and they needed a solution. However, if the two sides cooperated too quickly, people might begin to suspect that they were in collusion and the existence of the Party might be exposed.

They needed a diversion, and confusion is always a good one in the political arena.

The Party needed a waiver for the business community to prevent economic unrest, but it couldn’t grant one to the people or the program’s defects would become too obvious. So, it orchestrated a role reversal by having its Liberty members grant the deferral to business while denying it to the people. It had to happen without a petition by Patriot members to avoid any appearance of cooperation.

Then, the Liberty and Patriot members engaged in what seemed to be a budget and debt ceiling battle that mysteriously depended upon their ostensible positions on ObamaScare. The Government was even shut down for effect.

During the negotiations, the Patriot faction requested a delay in implementation for the people. Liberty members said, “Absolutely not,” and the Halloween Party had the two kick the can down the road for a few months.

Almost immediately, it became obvious that the ObamaScare website was a complete debacle. So, the Halloween Party once again choreographed a role reversal.

This time, its Patriot members called for the rollout to go forward, and its Liberty members began to clamor for a delay; the exact opposite of what the same two groups had disagreed upon leading to the Government shutdown.

Confused yet? The Halloween Party certainly hopes so!

We are now told that ObamaScare is a solid program that simply has a defective website. One of the Party’s shills has stated that 3 1/2 years simply wasn’t enough time to develop the website; it really should have had 6 years of development and testing. Try to ignore the fact that the Manhattan Project only took 4 years including testing. Then again, we’re talking about designing a complex website; Fermi and that Einstein guy were only splitting atoms and exploring previously unknown areas of nuclear energy.

Speaking of which, how long do you think it will be before the Halloween Party uses the Manhattan Project to defend contracting the website to a Canadian firm that had been fired by its own government? After all, the Manhattan Project essentially was subcontracted to scientists from Italy and Germany who happened to have sought asylum here.

Interestingly, the Manhattan Project may provide an idea for one more diversion. The Party may choose to distract attention by raising a separate issue: Immigration.

Do you see the connection?  If we hadn’t allowed Fermi and Einstein to immigrate to the United States, we would not have had the ability to become a nuclear power. Who knows how many “undocumented” Fermis and Einsteins are already here just waiting to be granted citizenship? Maybe a few of them could even design a website.

In the interim, try to avoid ghosts, goblins, glitches, and kinks … and have a Happy Halloween!


T.J. O’Hara is an internationally recognized author, speaker, and strategic consultant in the private and public sectors. In 2012, he emerged as the leading independent candidate for the Office of President of the United States and the first nominee of the Whig Party in over 150 years.

This article first appeared in T.J. O’Hara’s recurring column, A Civil Assessment, in the Communities section of The Washington Times.